Pink Spider, The sky is calling you

My mom scared the shit out of me today, well yesterday, ugh whatever. She fainted and was in and out of conciousness and we all thought she was going to die. She didn't she had a vagal episode. Her blood pressure got really low and normally people fall on the floor and regain their normal blood pressure but she was throwing up at the time, so me and my dad picked her. This was a big mistake and it made her worse.

Yeah, so we called the ambulance, since we thought she was gonna die. I just spent 4 hours in the A&E department. We got home literally 20 minutes ago. Worst part was I said some stupid things to her, we were fighting, I even said "I hate you" and I was freaking out that was going to be last words I said to her. :( I love my mom, I really, really do.

This was a wake up call, no more acting like a stupid kid and acting out. People don't fight with your parents or loved ones, seriously, don't fucking do it. Life's too short for fighting. I'm still really shook up. My mom's fine now and she's fully back to normal but I almost lost my mom today and that is fucking SCARY!

Worst christmas EVER! And I don't even celebrate christmas, since my folks are Jehovah Witnesses and I'm an athiest.

ok, bye

Kitty

P.S I don't feel like sleeping at all now, still really shook up.

P.S.S Don't fight, just don't!

Tommorow, I'm having a minor dental surgery which apparently will only take a couple of hours. I still have 4 of my baby teeth left since the permanent ones will never grow. Except underneath one of my baby tooth on the bottom leftside, I have a malformed permanent "teeth" but it'll never grow into a teeth and unfortunately it's pushing against the space of the adjacent tooth so like once a month half of my mouth hurts for a couple of days. The doctors are just gonna take that one tooth out before it gets worse and my parents want it out because they'll have to pay for the operation once I turn 18, so we're doing it while it's free. haha

Ugh I'm kind of worried since I'll be under anesthesia and you know what they say about dentists and anesthesia...ahhhhhhhhhhh. The actual surgery is nothing serious but it's just going under sleep that scares me, see this is why you shouldn't watch T.V movies. :/ I'm probably overreacting. The worst part is I can't eat for half a day and they'll feed me hospital food after the surgery, I've had hospital food and it SUCKS!

So yeah I'll be gone for a couple of days, three days at the most. Wish me luck. :) I'll miss you buzznet.

By ni,

Kitty

P.S I'm not looking forward to wearing the hospital dressing gowns either, they look ugly on T.V not to mention the whole tied with strings at the back. This is going to be embarassing.

Tommorow, I'm having a minor dental surgery which apparently will only take a couple of hours. I still have 4 of my baby teeth left since the permanent ones will never grow. Except underneath one of my baby tooth on the bottom leftside, I have a malformed permanent "teeth" but it'll never grow into a teeth and unfortunately it's pushing against the space of the adjacent tooth so like once a month half of my mouth hurts for a couple of days. The doctors are just gonna take that one tooth out before it gets worse and my parents want it out because they'll have to pay for the operation once I turn 18, so we're doing it while it's free. haha

Ugh I'm kind of worried since I'll be under anesthesia and you know what they say about dentists and anesthesia...ahhhhhhhhhhh. The actual surgery is nothing serious but it's just going under sleep that scares me, see this is why you shouldn't watch T.V movies. :/ I'm probably overreacting. The worst part is I can't eat for half a day and they'll feed me hospital food after the surgery, I've had hospital food and it SUCKS!

So yeah I'll be gone for a couple of days, three days at the most. Wish me luck. :) I'll miss you buzznet.

By ni,

Kitty

P.S I'm not looking forward to wearing the hospital dressing gowns either, they look ugly on T.V not to mention the whole tied with strings at the back. This is going to be embarassing.

Ugh I have a weekend cold and I can't breathe. I feel awful. My body doesn't want to be warm, so I'm coooold. :( UGH

I'm watching a film to get over it though. I don't want do any work. BLEH

So the film iss called Anjali and it's one of the best movie made in the Tamil film industry from the 90's. I haven't watched it since I was 8 but I remember it being good and crying.

It's basically about a family who deals with their third daughter who is autistic and has a terminal illness. This is one of the first Indian films that actually deals with autism. As soon as she's born the father decides to tell his wife and their two children that Anjali died rather than put them through the heartache of bonding with her and losing her. Two years later they discover that Anjali has actually survived despite doctors saying she'll only live for a couple of months, so the family take her back and it follows with them learning how to live with a mentally challenged child.

I think this is a problem that still prevails in India since people with disabilities especially children are treated like a burden. Children like Anjali are often either given to a care facility and treated like a dirty secret, this film basically challenges that way of thinking.

So if you can find a subtitled version of this film on youtube, you have to watch it! They do break into song and dance randomly though but hey it's an Indian film. :D

I've been banned off the computer since I was up until nearly 1am on the computer trying to do my photography essay. GRRR So for now I can only come during college time on buzznet. :(

My mom is seriously pissing me off. She exepcts too much from me, she made me go to work saturday when I made it clear to her I had to do my homework, she said I could do it on sunday. On sunday she made me help out with her chores because shewasn't organized enough, then she expects me to go to work, AGAIN. I refused and she gets all angry with me for trying to finish school work. I mean how can you expect me to do well at college and work for you in the space of two days? And she wonders why I do crap at school...

This is my last year at college and I can't afford to fuck up, my mom just doesn't understand. She seems to think you can do homework within a matter of hours. I'd like to see her try to do a photography essay on the modernist viewpoint, do the research link the russian revolution in it, evaluate 2 photographs by Rodchenko or Maholy-Nagy AND take 6 phtos based around the theme not to mention evaluate THAT too. This takes a week to do not hours. She's driving me crazy!!! Granted I have been waking up at like 12pm on the weekends but after a week of waking up at 6am I need to have a sleep it. I actually wake up earlier than she does on weekdays. I admit that physical stress at my mom's job is tough but so is mental stress from studying. It sucks when your parents don't try to understand you.

*sigh* I'm just tired of everything, especially education. With the way things are going my parents are making me not want to go to unversity.

Bye ni,

Kitty

( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show

(x ) Grease

(x) Pirates of the Caribbean

(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest

( ) Boondock Saints

(x) Fight Club

( ) Starsky and Hutch

(x) Neverending Story

( ) Blazing Saddles

(x) Airplane

 

Total: 6

 

(x) The Princess Bride ( ) AnchorMan

( ) Napoleon Dynamite

( ) Labyrinth

( ) Saw

( ) Saw II

( ) White Noise

( ) White Oleander

( ) Anger Management

( ) 50 First Dates

(x ) The Princess Diaries

( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

 

Total so far: 8

 

(x) Scream

(x) Scream 2

(x) Scream 3

(x) Scary Movie

( ) Scary Movie 2

(x) Scary Movie 3

( ) Scary Movie 4

(x) American Pie

(x) American Pie 2

( ) American Wedding

( ) American Pie Band Camp

 

Total so far: 15

 

(x) Harry Potter 1

(x) Harry Potter 2

(x) Harry Potter 3

(x) Harry Potter 4

(x) Resident Evil 1

( ) Resident Evil 2

( ) The Wedding Singer

( ) Little Black Book

( ) The Village

(x) Lilo & Stitch

 

Total so far: 21

 

(x) Finding Nemo

( ) Finding Neverland

(x) Signs

(x) The Grinch

( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre

( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

( ) White Chicks

( ) Butterfly Effect

( ) 13 Going on 30

(x) I, Robot

(x) Robots

 

Total so far: 25

 

( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

( ) Universal Soldier

(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events

( ) Along Came Polly

( ) Deep Impact

( ) KingPin

( ) Never Been Kissed

(x) Meet The Parents

(x) Meet the Fockers

( ) Eight Crazy Nights

( ) Joe Dirt

(x) King Kong

 

Total so far: 29

 

(x) A Cinderella Story

( ) The Terminal

( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie

( ) Passport to Paris

(x) Dumb & Dumber

( ) Dumber & Dumberer

(x) Final Destination

(x) Final Destination 2

(x) Final Destination 3

(x) Halloween

(x) The Ring

( ) The Ring 2

( ) Surviving X-MAS

(x) Flubber

 

Total so far: 36

 

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle

(x) Practical Magic

( ) Chicago

( ) Ghost Ship

(x) From Hell

(x) Hellboy

( ) Secret Window

( ) I Am Sam

(x) The Whole Nine Yards

( ) The Whole Ten Yards

 

Total so far: 41

 

(x) The Day After Tomorrow

(x) Child's Play

(x) Seed of Chucky

( ) Bride of Chucky

(x) Ten Things I Hate About You (Heath Ledger!!!)

( ) Just Married (x) Gothika

(x) Nightmare on Elm Street

( ) Sixteen Candles

(x) Remember the Titans

( ) Coach Carter

( ) The Grudge

( ) The Grudge 2

(x) The Mask

( ) Son Of The Mask

 

Total so far: 49

 

(x) Bad Boys

( ) Bad Boys 2

( ) Joy Ride

(x) Lucky Number Sleven

(x) Ocean's Eleven

(x) Ocean's Twelve

(x) Bourne Identity

(x) Bourne Supremecy

( ) Bourne Ultimatum

( ) Lone Star

( ) Bedazzled

( ) Predator I

( ) Predator II

( ) The Fog

(x) Ice Age

(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown

( ) Curious George

 

Total so far: 57

 

(x) Independence Day

(x) Cujo

( ) A Bronx Tale

( ) Darkness Falls

( ) Christine

(x) ET

( ) Children of the Corn

( ) My Bosses Daughter

( ) Maid in Manhattan

(x) War of the Worlds

(x) Rush Hour

(x) Rush Hour 2

 

Total so far: 63

 

( ) Best Bet

( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

(x) She's All That

( ) Calendar Girls

( ) Sideways

(x) Mars Attacks

( ) Event Horizon

(x) Ever After

(x) Wizard of Oz

(x) Forrest Gump

(x) Big Trouble in Little China (I remember it being awful)

(x) The Terminator

(x) The Terminator 2

(x) The Terminator 3

 

Total so far: 75

 

(x) X-Men

(x) X-Men 2

(x) X-Men 3

(x) Spider-Man

(x) Spider-Man 2

( ) Sky High

(x) Jeepers Creepers - ("where do you get those peepers")

( ) Jeepers Creepers 2

(x) Catch Me If You Can 

(x) The Little Mermaid

(x) Freaky Friday

( ) Reign of Fire

( ) The Skulls

( ) Cruel Intentions

( ) Cruel Intentions 2

( ) The Hot Chick

(x) Shrek

(x) Shrek 2

 

Total so far: 86

 

( ) Swimfanit

(x) Miracle on 34th street

( ) Old School

(x) The Notebook

( ) K-Pax

( ) Krippendorf's Tribe

( ) A Walk to Remember

( ) Ice Castles

( ) Boogeyman

( ) The 40-year-old Virgin

 

Total so far: 88

 

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring

(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers

(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King

(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark

(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

 

Total so far: 94

 

( ) Baseketball

( ) Hostel

( ) Waiting for Guffman

( ) House of 1000 Corpses

( ) Devils Rejects

( ) Elf

( ) Highlander

( ) Mothman Prophecies

( ) American History X

( ) Three

 

Total so Far: 94

 

( ) The Jacket

(x) Kung Fu Hustle

(x) Shaolin Soccer (I LOVE Stephen Chow)

( ) Night Watch

(x) Monsters Inc.

(x) Titanic

( ) Monty Python and the Holy Grail

( ) Shaun Of the Dead

( ) Willard

 

Total so far: 98

 

( ) High Tension

( ) Club Dread

(x) Hulk

( ) Dawn Of the Dead

( ) Hook

(x) Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe

(x) 28 days later

( ) Orgazmo

( ) Phantasm

( ) Waterworld

 

Total so far: 101

 

(x) Kill Bill vol 1

( ) Kill Bill vol 2

( ) Mortal Kombat

( ) Wolf Creek

(x) Kingdom of Heaven

( ) The Hills Have Eyes

( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman

( ) The Last House on the Left

( ) Re-Animator

( ) Evil Dead 3: Army of Darkness

 

Total so far: 103

 

( ) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace

( ) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones

(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith

( ) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope

(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back

(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi

( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage

( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor

 

Total so far: 106

 

(x) The Matrix

(x) The Matrix Reloaded

(x) The Matrix Revolutions

( ) Animatrix

( ) Evil Dead

( ) Evil Dead 2

( ) Team America: World Police

( ) Red Dragon

( ) Silence of the Lambs

( ) Hannibal Now Add them up and... 109 Put "I've seen --- of 239 films" in the subject line and re post it

 

You have no life if you pass 85...I clearly went beyond that. Stolen from Starlorwummer.

Photography wasn't boring as I expected we talked about the russian revolution which was intresting since I'm into Russian-german history right now. I did however get another one of S's gems: the only application you can't fit onto a camera isn't from Jessops, it's your brain. I swear he only says that stuff to make himself look spiritual and like a free thinker. No S my brain isn't currently attached to anything right now since it's trying to dislocate itself from your trite! The worst part of the lesson was after an hour of talking, S decided we might need to do the same lesson AGAIN since no-one seemed to understand what to do, yeah maybe if you hadn't babbled for an hour we would get what was going on.

I'm researching up on Russian history now, Stalin, Lenin yaddah yaddah. I have biology next. *le sigh* then another free, well it's tutor but it basically finishes in 5 mins. Then finally, FINALLY I have film. *dances* yaaaaaaay!

Oh while we're at it let me tell you about the most recent film I watched, Whisper of the heart a Studio Ghibli creation. If you like me love Studio Ghibli movies (Spirited away, Howl's moving castle, Kiki's Delivery service, My neighbour Totoro, Princess Mononoke) this is another gem you have to watch, it still proves to be good despite being more than a decade old.

It doesn't have the fantasy element like most Ghibli films but it still has that gentleness, you can watch the film knowing the director isn't going to fuck with your sanity. At heart, it's a love story but what I like about this movie is that it's a realistic love story, the characters actually want to succeed in their dreams before getting together.

I don't have the time to explain more about this film my lesson starts in 10 mins, I'd rather not be late but if you have the time watch this movie and be absorbed in the story. It's only 111 minutes long.

Bye ni, Kitty

I woke up quite early today, earlier than I should have since I didn't have to go in until 9.50am but I promised I'd meet a friend at 9am to help get her timetable and hang out. I actually wore make up something I do rarely but there's just something about making a nice impression on your new classmates. I have the same teachers again, so they all know my name and it won't be awkward, well almost I have yet to get know my film teacher. So anyway, I turn up at the bus stop got to town and waited for the bus to take me to my college. It was weird since everyone around me was little first year noobs, who didn't know which bus to take and were being jumpy anytime a bus came near the stop. I laughed to myself when I saw some of them get on the wrong bus, I could have told them not to take it but they need to learn like all of us, NEVER take the 47, unless you have an hour to kill. Yes, I'm a horrible person but as a veteran I believe they'll learn better from their mistakes...and also for the lulz.

I waited for 15 minutes for my friend who was late because she was waiting at the wrong place. *sigh* To top it off my new timetable for this year sucks! I get off school at 3 or 4pm this year. GAHHHHHH! I really wanted to have Film first lesson, I did on thursday but sine we don't start classes until 9.50am, I have to wait until tommorow damn! My friend didn't get into the same photography class as me and Pia, so she has to spend another year with snooty bitchy girl who put their huge bags on the table. Well, the good news is both me and my two other friends are free on wednesdays so we can continue with our anime/east asian films club. YAY I'm the co-leader. :D This year is going to be fun.

Since me and my friend had nothing better to do for the next 35 mins, we went across to the university campus cafe and bought some food to eat (I had't ate breakfast yet). Heh big mistake since I turned up 5 mins late for my first lesson (biology), great way to start the new year off! I actually almost got there 5 mins early but I left my notebook on the cafe table so I ran across the campus to retrieve it, I mean how dumb would you look arriving to your first lesson with nothing to write in? Then when I FINALLY get there and swipe into my lesson, my card doesn't work, why you ask? BECAUSE I FORGOT TO GET A NEW CARD DURING MY ENROLLMENT! I WAS USING AN OLD CARD. GRRR ASDFJOCUHRVBERJ'KL! My stupidity deserves caps lock and keyboard smashes, that's how embarassed and angry I felt. >.> I was starting off great.

After rushing to the student services to get a new card before my second lesson, who then sent me to the front desk, I got my new card...I wish I had a better photo. Why is it you always take bad photos for things like passports and ID cards? I mean can you imagine showing that to people when you really have to? It'd be embarassing to show you looking like an extra off of "The Grudge" when you get pulled by the police or something, thank god they don't put you in jail for taking bad photos, unless you know you live in some obscure country where appearance means everything.

It turns out I still had the same teacher from last year for psychology, the one who's on a realitty T.V shows, we're not allowed to mention"come dine with me" near her for a two weeks, shame since I wanted to know what she thought of her bitchy edits on the show. *sigh* I'm going to have to do Sports psychology, great, especially since I despise sports with every fibre in my body. -.- I'm going to have soooooo much fun, clearly. Pia's doing Forensic psychology, lucky!

I had two extra frees so I hung out with my friend from earlier, walking around and talking about photography and sucky parental upbringings. Finally, my last lesson rolled around, photography. I didn't have S***e, so that was good and D****l only took 25mins to explain what we're going to do this year. Most of the projects seemed interesting enough, I have a feeling I'll have to make them interesting if I want to get good grades this year. We have 10 commandments for photography this year, everytime D read one out, I imagined a bullet entering my brain at a very high velocity and blood splattering everywhere, it was that kind of powerful words. Yay for S's random psuedo-philosophical artsy ramblings. "Photography is about working with people, we want to see your transformations this year but more importantly...*wait for it* photography is about LIFE" Give me a break S! Shoot me, shoot me now! I love photography I do but this guys artsy fartsy crap is enough to make you want to reduce your arm to splinters by puching the wall repeatedly. Oh how I loathe him and his comments. Apparently we have to do an A2 book on our photos all handwritten with beautiful desgins, fuck that, I'm printing everything out, I have no time to play with S's favouritism, he marks my work or I'll get the college on his arse! I wasted time last year making my book look pretty even though it didn't gain me any marks, so I ask you S, WHAT WAS THE BLOODY POINT? I got an E, needless to say. So I'm not giving him what he wants.

After I got let out, me and Pia went into town to buy her some high heels. *laugh* It was funny seeing her almost fall on her ass trying to walk in them. We're going again tommorow too since we didn't have any luck finding good shoes.

Well that was my first day recapped for you. I'm starting off great. I actually forced myself to finish all my homework and clean my room before I got on buzznet, have to be strict on myself so I don't procastinate half my school year again. :)

I have to go to bed now. Guess what I have first thing tommorow? Photography and with my FAVOURITE teacher! S***e, I can't WAIT! *sarcasm* ¬.¬ If he spouts any more art crap, I'm going to drink the nearest chemical near me, which would probably be a developer or stop. I'm kidding I won't but I will probably experience from slight brain damage from talking. Oh well atleast I have two frees after that and I have film later on too, YAY! Although, I get off college at 4pm. *sigh*

Bye ni, Kitty

As you may or may not have noticed, I changed my layout. :) I love it more than the last one! This one features my hero Hide Matsumoto. He was an awesome Japanese musician and I urge you all to check out his music. He's been inspiring me a lot lately so I made a background and banner based on him, I love him SO much. It's a shame he passed away since I always wonder what kind of music he would still be making. The pink spider that I keep saying all over my page is one of my favourite song and music video by him, the lyrics are so beautiful and something I relate to.

Please listen to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xs_itxUCpeU

Here is the translated lyric:

 

you spread your web of lies,

thought your small world was everything,

wounding anything passing by,

you though the sky was square.

 

'this is all there is, this is it, isn't it?' you said,

but that's a lie... your dismal stripes looked so sad,

 

a bird of paradise decided to talk to you.

'get some butterfly wings and come over here.'

'over there everything is just what you want.'

 

pink spider 'i want to go'

pink spider 'i want wings...'

 

not listening to the dying pleas of your trapped butterfly,

you glare up at the sky.

'i didn't wound you out of hatred,

but i don't have wings,

And the sky is so high...'

 

'go ahead and use my wings, spider.

but even you,

who is yet to know the hardships of flying,

will someday realize that you were only flying within someone's hand,

and that you were calling that freedom...'

 

unable to fly properly with your borrowed wings,

upside down you tumble to the ground.

 

pink spider 'it's all over'

pink spider 'but i can see the sky...'

pink spider 'i'm a failure'

pink spider 'i want wings...'

 

the glimpses you caught of the other side of the sky,

the birds go south.

'i'll fly one more time, tearing away these strings,

with my own jets,

as soon as that cloud passes by...'

 

Pink spider, the sky is calling you

pink spider, pink spider

 

A pink coloured cloud passes the sky.

 

 

 

Today is my bestfriend's birthday, she is 18 now. Legal to drink and vote. *shudder* I wonder what she will do, now that she is an "adult". Honestly, even though you're older than me Pia, I still remember the girl with the messy hair I avoided talking to since I had a thing about hair being neat back then. But now I'm thankful, that you got that haircut on that fateful day and started liking rock and decided to come say hello to me, the only girl in the whole year who listened to rock. I believe it was Year 9 maths class? Good times, good times. Now almost 4 years later she straigtens her hair daily, listens to grind core and treats me as her minion. Without meeting you, I'd still be a loser. The girl who's name no-one would remember and would only talk to me to copy my homework (which I wouldn't have done either). Thanks for being born and changing my life, even if my mom thinks you're a bad influence on me. LOL

It's monday tommorow, so all you guys starting school, I have a question for you.

Is your Ipod charged?

You'll be screwed if it isn't. That's all, just a short reminder, so you won't suffer. The pain of being on a bus full of people or for some of you walking it or biking it with no music is too much.

Love you all.

Bye ni,

Kitty ^_^

So I spent a whole day making a cube rabbit plushie keychain for a friend of mine. It's badly sewn, I pricked myself many times making it and it's cute in a kind of ungly way. I don't want to admit it's ugly right out because I made it and I love it. I hope my friend will like it too. It's a very late birthday present, lets see her birthday was in july?

OH CRAP! My best friend's birthday is in 4 days. >.> Thank god she loves money, so her present is easy to give. Pia if you're reading this, I'm willing to buy you a lentil flan cake thing (IF I GET HALF!). :D Happy birzday to you. DUDE, you're going to be 18, legal to vote and drink. :O Don't worry to me you still look 12. Good luck trying to get into Saw, I hope they will flag you, remember to take your driving licence with you. :P

Oh yeah the other stuff. I got sick of having friends who never talked to me so I deleted most of them so from now on people who add me, drop me a note so I won't deny your request. Frankly I'm sick of being treated as a number. HMPH! Also, I've only just realised I'm shy online, I will admire a person on here and it will take me a long time to have the guts to go and say hello to them on their page and add them. >.> Excuse my shyness new friends. It's so much better if you add me and say hello, so I won't feel like a dork. ^_^

Bye ni,

Kitty

P.S PIA even if you're gonna buy the lentil cake thing yourself, can I still have half? PLEASE? :D I luuuub you. :P

Just to clarify, we do things differently over here in England. We finish highschool when we're 17yrs old, then we do 2 years of college and move on to university. I am currently in college, I'm starting my second year next thursaday actually.

Sooo I got my AS level back, when I first looked at it I almost wanted to cry, 2 passes, 1 very low grade and 1 fail. I didn't study at ALL last year and hung out in town during my free times or went on the computer, this year I shall WORK MY ASS OFF!

My results:

Psychology   - B

Biology        - C

Photography - E (REALLY BUMMED OUT ABOUT THAT ONE)

Chemistry     - U (which is a fail, E is actually a pass despite being a low grade)

 

I was really dissapointed with my photography grade since for my coursework I was predicted a C and I thought my exam work was pretty good, boy was I wrong. Apparently, there was only one A in the whole department. Since the guidelines were a lot stricter this year and apparently a lot of people got E's also, it almost made me feel better, almost. :( I'm gonna try my best this year at photography. This year I'm going to type everything out instead of making a lovely handmade book, with nice handwriting and design work around edges of each page. FUCK THAT SHIT! My photgraphy teachers prefer that so everyone did that, which put me off the actual work of analyzing the photographs. This year it's all printed out stuff so I can concentrate on my work rather than making my handwriting look neat.

So anyway today I enrolled into all my classes, I dropped chemistry and picked up another AS level to make up for my UCAS points. I got into film studies YAAAAAAAY! I was really lucky since for the first time in 3 years they had spaces for second years to take AS film. So you might actually get a couple of reviews from me as practice work, we're going to start off with watching the Dark Night and Slumdog millionaire and contrast the two movies. I still get to carry on with my photography into A level. Although Steve (my teacher) did lecture me to work harder this year (no need to tell me). I got into Biology and Psychology A level with no difficulty.

Besides that I went into my favourite corner shop in town to pig out on my beloved lentil flans but they already ran out, so I had some wholemeal vegan pizza, vegan sosage & tomato rolls and spring rolls. All my worries about the shop being under new management were thrown away after I tasted the food and there NO changes. *happy tears* They did have a new chef though but he was sooooo nice which was double good since I hated their old chef since he was a douchebag. Funny thing was he said "Oh wow it looks like it's going to rain, enjoy getting drenched". I think I was the only person who enjoyed looking and feeling like a drowned rat, walking in the pouring rain makes me happy, I wonder how the chef knew. XD

Ahh I can't wait to start college again next thursday. Time to meet all my old friends from last year again and to make some new ones. I hope I get into the same classes as my friends in photography though since everyone who does it are SOOO bitchy and give you death glares if you so much as try to talk to them. Maybe there will be nicer people this year. ^_^

Well last year was a good year, even if I slacked off a lot. I hope this year will be twice as good, I have good feelings.

OH OH and I really hope my time tables don't clash so I can carry with my anime/east asian film club. haha I am the joint leader this year and since I'm going to do film, it'll be easier for me to use the film facilities. WOOT!

Bye ni, Kitty

*tears of joy* The internet connection works at my new house. Brief update, I love my new room and new house. The kitchen isn't finished so we're scrounging off food from random relative who are kind enough to cook for us. I also wake up every morning to the sound of drills. It's not a pleasant sound. There are many things to finish around the house. I still haven't started painting my room yet. :/ It'll be done by next week I hope. I got some writing done. I drew for a bit, I started working on a song but haven't had the time to touch my camera yet. *sigh* Anyways I missed everyone on here.

SO what have I missed? How are you guys doing? WHAT'S NEW???

 

Love you all,

Kitty ^_^

A short poem I came up with. By the way all you writers out there, imPROMPTu is looking for members, so jooooin!!!

 

                             Fantasy                             

 

The latest drug,

The new escape,

Always one route,

F         L         Y.

 

Was it  the war that made me fly?

Or was it love?

A perfect crystal, look in it,

The world’s upside down,

 

A small fracture ,

Reality seeps through,

My crystal shatters,

my wings break.

 

Do I dare

F          L         Y

again?

 

Fantasy is like a drug, use responsibly. Escapism is never too healthy, come back to the real world soon ok? Oh and the wings symbolizes Penguins, I'm a penguin fanatic. ^_^ I love those damn flightless birds. It's also a nod to Joshua about the "deranged penguin" he showed me. That bird is a hero, this poem is dedicated to him. haha enjoy.

 

It turns out the new house I'm moving to doesn't have an internet connection yet. :O It's horrifying, the virgin media people won't be able to come around and fix stuff up for atleast a week (my mom said maybe two). This is going to be torture.

Well maybe I'll draw or something...

I move house on sunday. :) Besides the no internet thing it's a beautiful place, it's 5 mins by car from where I live now and 25 mins if you walk it. Gah I can't wait to go there, my room has it's own fucking bathroom. Yaaaaaaay! Oh and I'm painting white with black stripes. ^_^

Bye ni, Kitty

So college finished for me last Friday. Before people outside of Uk confuse this, let me just explain that we do things differently here, college lasts for 2 years and it's a stage of education that prepares you for university, whic typically lasts four years. So I'm not in "College" as in University. Ok?

I feel very happy now that it's over, looking at the past year I can see I've grown a lot and I've done new things, gained more confidence and became a new person. College is definetly different to High school, I don't feel as stifled and I didn't wake up everyday wishing I was dead and wanting to disappear first thing in the morning when faced with education. I've now realised that high school wasn't anywhere close to what my life holds. Back then image meant everything, I always kept my head down and stayed out of people's way to "survive", I hated everything about it. Gosh looking back to how I felt back then is scary, I was so pessimistic and thought that my whole life was inside those buildings, I thought that was what "life" was all about. Boy was I wrong. To all you kids still in high school do not despair what you're going through is puppet society, it gets so much better once you're out of there. Haha I feel like I have to preach this to people since I've opened my eyes about life outside high school. Ok enough about high school.

Yeah, I loved the first year of college it was fun. I met new people, who are so awesome and fun to hang out with, nerd out with, people who understand what I'm talking about. I've rebelled a bit, I cut some classes I found boring (I wouldn't have dreamed to do that in high school) and been into Town (even though my parents are iffy about that). I also learnt that I hate chemistry with evey atom and molecule in my my body, I can not wait to drop that subject next year. All I did was doodle onion head, penguins and played sudoku while was in the lesson. I also hate my photography teacher (he's a wanker) but I actually still kept my love for photography even though I wanted to punch the douchbag everytime he commented on something, I was surprised by that since I ended up hating music for a while after my experience with a shitty music teacher in high school, he's a lot worse. I grew up to the point where people's opinion didn't bother me anymore. YAAY.

This whole year has just made me feel better as a person, I know I've changed quit a bit but I'm happy with the changes. I can't wait for next year. I've decided from now on I'm not going to do things which will make me not accept myself. I also need to listen to more new music. I still have some more growing up to do, although the thought of being an adult still scares me but I'll deal with that when I get there, maybe the new music will help me. Most of all: NO MORE PROCASTINATION. I'm sick of it, I will get better this year.

Oh and me and my best friend have decided we won't hang out anymore next year. At first I was a little sad about it but I guess it's for the better. Being too dependent on someone isn't good for either of us. I want to grow by myself. I want to make my own decisions, we can't be together forever. I want to see how far I go with my own strength. Plus even our photography teacher was making fun of us for hanging out together all the time. It wasn't that healthy I guess. I'm ok with it now. So yeah like the title says a new beginning.

Just now I got an idea about what to base my next creative explosion on, I was waiting for something to inspire me since I was in the middle of a block and just the thought of "waiting" gave me something new. :) So "wait" for some new photos from me. I will NOT procastinate on this one!!!

I'm also moving to a new house on saturday. I'm super excited since I get a large bedroom with a bathroom attatched to it. I've painted it black and white stripes. Gah I can't wait to move. ^_^ hehe I've been packing all my stuff all day, it's weird that my life so far can be fit in such little boxes.

So that's my update on my life so far. It's been a good year for me despite the recession.

Bye ni, Kitty

P.S I still have to post all the photos I took in London. I will do that after I get some packing done.

P.S.S All this packing has made me nostalgic.

 

You're the cycle

The cycle starts,
Memories ebb away,
Moments of sublime turn to words,
I painfully forget your name,
Were you real anyway?

When words become meaningless,
When your name is lost in the wind,
You become a childhood story,
Lost ……..
……in……
Time.
A mere whisper in the past.

Like the wind that carries you,
You return like you left,
New memories, with new words,
A new name, a new you
You etch yourself in my heart.
Another “you” to erase.

The cycle begins,
Did I forget to begin with?
Did you leave me at all?

This cycle never ends.

 

 

Sometimes I write poems. I'll forgive you for calling emo...it kinda sounds emo. You can also blame teenage angst. Oh teh angst can't standz it no moar! Lol! Anyways I wrote it in like 20 mins go easy on me.

Um this is something that came to me when Pia and my other friend told me my fortunes using Tarot cards. I got the pentacle cycle, the pentacle knight and the star. Don't know what that means but apparently I have to choose a path since I'm going in circles and you'll meet your "knight" soon. In other words Pia is a bullshiter *bows down to her power* amazing even I can't make shit that fast up on the spot. Brava brava! (The star had an ugly naked dude, so we don't know what that means)

All my exams have finished. I had my last exam and I did better than I thought I would...but still pretty bad. :) Whatever, I am happy now, no more worries.

The bad news is college starts again for me tommorow. :( Nice timing.

Oh well I still don't have to study that much the last 4 weeks should be easy going and fun.

Bye ni, Kitty

 

P.S I think I'm going insane, I'm making up sweets that never existed. Basically, I remember eating a sweet that's shaped like red ducks that has the texture of cotton candy and tastes like watermelon. Everyone around me has never eaten anything like that and it doesn't come up on Google. I say it should exist anyway! Does anyone remember a sweet like this?

P.S.S I want some watermelon

So I stop fangirling over Gackt for 4 months and I come back to this:http://www.youtube.com/v/JzDYf1Drbxc

O_O I love that man! He looks like some kind of hostclub owner. Goddamn flirt! XD Even though it scared me at first, I like this anyway, really catchy. Did he get cooler or dorkier? I dunno, still gotta love the guy!

Bye ni, Kitty

P.s Yes, I can be a fangirl sometimes. :D

 

EDIT: I just read the lyrics to this, what the hell are you singing Gackt? :O

I was watching the Apprentice (my brother loves that show) and people kept talking about not lasting in the REAL world. Is it really that scary? It just hit me, that it might just be the truth.

I've realised over the years I have a shitty personality, I'm not that confident, I can be rude, I talk a lot and as my best friend likes to point out really bad at criticism. I don't like looking at myself the way other people view me but really I must come of as annoying and probably really wierd. The worst aspect of my personality is that I tend to procastinate. Over the years I've gotten so damned used to making excuses and accpeting it but it's not good. I had a chemistry exam and I revised last minute, I think I did really badly, probably failed, most likely failed. I mean I tried to revise but I just disgusted myself by how much I tried to avoid it. Seriously, procastination is not something to proud of. Ugh honest to god I don't think I'd survive in the real world.

I don't have ambitions, I have dreams but not enough strength to make it  come true. I don't know what to do with my life frankly I'm more than happy to hide from it. I want to be a psyhoclogist, I want to help people I know that but what if I don't make it? That scares me. I think deep down I'd suck at life. No-one would want to hire me. I don't think I have a personality, a likeable one anyway.

Arghhhhh all this scares me. I'm not talented, I don't have skills, CRAP at communicating. I'd be pretty useless in the work environment. I'd be pretty useless at life too. I'm sucky with relationship too whatever type of relationship I manage to screw it up.

I FAIL AT LIFE.

Really, I just want to hide from it.

Maybe I'm just reeling from all the exam stress but I still think my life experience will never amount to much.

Bye ni, Kitty